


Wintertown Madness

by Prisioux



Series: The gods have fashioned us for love [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Presents, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Secrets, Gift Exchange, Sevenmas, bad gifts, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 05:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12952503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prisioux/pseuds/Prisioux
Summary: Stannis Baratheon hates Sevenmas; Sansa loves it.Arya is determined to find the "perfect gift " for her sister.All this, and more, set in Wintertown. ( A continuation of my fic " Storm in the North")





	Wintertown Madness

Stannis Baratheon was a happy man. He had married the most beautiful woman in the world and she had been kind enough to give him three equally beautiful children.

Lyonnel was already showing talent in the sports arena and was expected to be taller than his father; Lyanna was very interested in arts and could spend a full afternoon painting and making sculptures that Stannis could swear were of professional quality and the little Cassana, less than two years old, was already capable of great feats, like dressing herself without assistance and telling their parents when she had to be taken to the bathroom.

His eldest, Shireen, was about fifteen years older than her half siblings, but since she went to Film School in Wintertown, Shireen had been present long enough to form a strong bond with Stannis second family. After earning her degree, Shireen accepted a job offer from her uncle, Renly, who was now focusing on producing what he called  “ lifestyle documentaries”, and had just recently moved south once again.

Although Stannis had hoped that Shireen would call home more often, he was happy she had booked a flight to Wintertown.

Sevenmas would not be complete without his firstborn.

Stannis would never have guessed Sevenmas would become a pleasant time of the year for him, but it did, and he had Sansa to thank for such change. She enjoyed every and each aspect of the festivities: from lightning the Seven Candles to roasting Seven Pigeons, Sansa´s enthusiasm was, if not contagious, very beautiful to witness.

Except for the dreaded gift exchange event, which meant that Stannis had to go to the Shopping Mall by himself and try to buy gifts that would cost no more than 10 Dragons each.

Despite both families being wealthy, Starks and Baratheons had agreed not to spoil their children and decided, long ago, to limit the expenditure in gifts. Stannis was not a religious man, but it annoyed him to no end that kids expected the date to be about consumerism and were over rewarded by good behavior.

Sansa would take the youngest with her every year to the Sept and explain the meaning of the date- a celebration of the day the Seven walked on Earth for the first time- and they would listen at first, but eventually, start asking about the gifts they would be receiving. Or even worse: instead of educational and age appropriate toys, even Lyanna and Lyonel would pester Stannis for adult items such as Iphones and other gadgets.

_Absurd. Ridiculous._

The gift exchange and the low budget per item was an effort in avoiding an avalanche of awful and expensive gifts nobody really needed.  In the first two Sevenmas he spent with the Starks, when Catelyn was still alive and they celebrated at Winterfell Tower, Stannis remembered how the gifts were all of good taste and good quality, and how Sansa would get very anxious about buying the right thing, for the right person, and how much money and time she would spend in this inglorious pursuit.

After the matriarch died and the house started to be filled with children, they had agreed with this well intentioned idea. Stannis did not even remember who had suggested it, but , instead of bad and expensive, the family had opted for cheap and terrible.

Stannis sighted, in relief. _I am too old for enduring hours and hours of constant walking, not to mention visiting the cheapest shops in the Mall. What am I going to buy Arya with 10 Dragons? Maybe a gift card from an apothecary. She is an Olympic Games Medalist after all. She should be in need of apothecary supplies…_

Stannis was considering the simple and easiest solution for his problem when he heard a familiar voice coming from behind him:

“Uncle! Are you also holiday shopping? I thought you would be like, super early with your lists…”

He considered asking Gendry for help, but the gifts were supposed to be a secret only to be unveiled under the Seven Pointed Star atop the Sevenmas Tree : “Yes, Gendry , I finished with my personal list two weeks ago. But I realized I forgot one gift, so I decided to come back. It is very difficult to find something for 10 Dragons.”

Gendry nodded: “ Oh, yes, we should raise this budget a bit or consider having a gift list of sorts. This would surely help Arya with her jokes. “

 _Well, she is your wife, nephew of mine._ **_You_ ** _explain her._ “ Arya´s gifts are usually...err..odd, I agree, especially when it comes to the ones she buys for Sansa. Last year she got the most horrid thing, you must remember. I hope this year Arya will redeem herself with something better. Sansa is rather easy to please, so it should not be such a big problem finding her something. She loves lemon scented oils and soaps, for instance. Maybe you could mention this information to Arya.”

Gendry started to get very, very red and Stannis not only noticed it, but started to wonder about Arya´s plans for Sansa´s gift this year.

“I will talk some sense in her, uncle. But I also think nothing can be worse than a farting device. Arya is convinced that Sansa actually likes her gifts though, so…”

Although Gendry had a valid point- the farting device was the most horrendous thing Stannis had ever laid his eyes on-  he braced himself and decided to prepare Sansa for the worst.

_If my wife is getting something worse than a farting device then a 9,99 Dragons voucher will be good enough for Arya Stark._

 

***

Sansa was forever expecting the good in people and courl scarcely believe her sister would let her down again, regarding the gift exchange event.

“Are you sure I should wait for more joke gifts, Stannis? I think I made absolutely clear that I would never use that... _thing_ Arya gave me last year. “

Stannis hated to be the bearer of bad news, but Sansa had made comments about being sure she would receive something actually nice from her sister, so he simply wanted to avoid seeing that beautiful face fighting the tears again.

Howeve, Stannis also did not want this rather silly matter to turn into a family feud, if his suspicions were right: “ Arya has a sense of humour and thinks you share it with her. If you do not want to be surprised again, I suggest you take your sister out for a coffee  this week and speak to her, otherwise... “

Sansa interrupted her husband, as she was sure there would be no need for a "sisters talk": “Stannis, what could possibly be worse than a farting device? I mean, I cannot think of anything  really! “

Stannis was about to make a reply, but held his tongue.

_Arya is the most capable and obstinate human being I have ever known; if she wants to find something worse than a farting device, she will._

 

***

Gendry arrived home a little bit past 20:00, looking forward for some lovemaking session with Arya. She had finally agreed in trying for a second child after winning gold for Westeros Fencing Team earlier that year in the Olympic Games and they were yet to start with procedures, with all the running around and preparing for Sevenmas.

Little Ned was eight years old and ready to become a big brother, but Gendry doubted he would help with diapers as he had promised when they came to discuss the possibility of him becoming a big brother.

Since Brandon had took off to join a religious cult with Meera´s crazy brother, Rickon had moved in with them for his last years in school. Arya´s little brother had become a role model  for Ned in the months after, before he left for The Wall University  in the Summer. Rickon being so hands on around the house had given Gendry hope  that they would have no problems in receiving a new addition to the family .

By 21:30, Ned was sleeping and Gendry made his move, trying to entice Arya with the sight of his defined muscles: “ Babe, why don't you come to bed? There is something I want to show you…”

“Oh, what? Did you get my gift? Try to hide it this year, okay? Half the fun is being surprised! “ Arya then jumped in the bed and quickly made under the covers, a playful smile on her face.

“Speaking of surprises, you will not believe what I got  for Sansa! It is even funnier than last year´s gift!”

Gendry was scared to ask.

 

***

The last day of school before the Sevenmas holiday was usually another event in every Stark-Baratheon family member´s calendar.

The kids attended the same school, Wintertown Academy, ran by Principal Rodrick Cassel, who was adamant about the importance of the parents participation in school life.

Although The Faith of the Seven was not followed by the majority of the northerner population, Sevenmas was a national holiday celebrated by all Westeros. Sansa Stark was a member of the Parents Council and had helped organize the Sevenmas Party this year, where the children would receive gifts from Father Seven himself.

Every year was the same :nobody would step forward to fill the roles of Father Seven and Maiden Star -which was something to be expected as the costumes were quite ridiculous and looked very uncomfortable-  so Sansa and Stannis would feel obligated to play the parts, as not to risk the tears of their children.

“This is the last time, Sansa. I look like a clown.” Stannis said sternly, while his wife was adjusting the oversized Star shaped hat on his head.

“Please, stop fussing! This fake belly is quite uncomfortable. Why Father Seven has to be fat? I think it sets a bad example for our children.”

Sansa was, of course, a vision in pink with her crown of fake roses adorning her lustrous auburn hair:” You look quite fetching, I think. The beard suits you, Stannis. Maybe you should grow some facial hair, I would like that.”

Stannis lips turned upwards and his hands reached out for Sansa´s waist, pulling her forward into a sloppy kiss. _This beard is disgusting._

Impatiently, he took the artificial beard out in an aggressive gesture, throwing it very far away; where it landed, he did not care.

“I prefer to feel your lips without obstructions.” When Stannis kissed Sansa again, their tongues dancing in craze fashion, she moaned with pleasure.

“Stannis! You are Father Seven, this is very...err...out of character!” Sansa was now teasing him, rubbing herself against the bulge in his trousers.

“I have been a good boy and I want to claim my Sevenmas gift. I am quite impatient, actually.”

Sansa then felt the hands of her husband quickly and expertly going underneath her laced underwear. She wanted to remind him that was improper to be touched this way at their kid´s school, but his fingerswere already _there_ , playing with her folds and around her clitoris in the way she liked it.

Their kisses became more heated, their hands, bolder, and the noises of their making out session, louder.

When Sansa was about to give in to Stannis, they heard some very known voices coming from the corridor:

“ Hmm...I want to put a baby in you right now!”

“Yes, my stag, I am so hot for you...here nobody will find us. “

As Arya and Gendry opened the door, Stannis and Sansa tried to pretend nothing was happening, but they failed, looking quite flushed and disheveled.

Arya was the first to say something after both couples froze in their places, staring awkwardly at each other:

” Jeez,  it seems we came in second this time, Gendry. You people are the worst...this is your kid´s school, for fuck´s sake!”

Stannis reminded Arya that it was also her son's school: “ I assume you are just disappointed because we came here first. You should leave. “

Gendry started to walk back to the door, dragging Arya as a sac of potatoes, when she screamed: “You two are perverts, you know...Father Seven is supposed to be a good man, not a freak!”

When Arya finally left, Stannis tried to get back to where they were, but Sansa was in no mood: “ You cannot possibly seduce me right now, Stan! It is bad enough to get caught, but by Arya from all people?I just want to get through with this Father Seven thing and go home!”

Stannis could only think that Arya did not even deserve the 9,99 Dragons voucher he had bought her.

_Next year it will be 9,98._

***

Sevenmas Dinner and the Gift Exchange would be held at Stannis and Sansa´s this year, since last time it was Gendry and Arya´s turn.

If Stannis would be honest, he much preferred to host the event, as Sansa was a perfect hostess and an experienced cook. Arya was always pushing her “ paleo-low carb-low sugar” stuff - Stannis was all for a healthy eating, but he had his suspicious that Arya just wanted to avoid Gendry getting as fat as Robert in his final years. Sometimes, Arya would come up with a good recipe, but it was more of a hit and miss thing.

Sansa, on the other hand, would focus on buying from local food markets, seasonal offeringsmostly and only organic vegetables and meat.

And, most importantly, Sansa had inherited Old Nan´s secret cook book, filled with delicious treats that even Stannis had a hard time resisting.

Stannis was helping little Cassana brush her hair when Sansa alerted him of the time : “Stan, you  must leave to pick Shireen at the airport. ”

He quickly finished his daughter´s hair and went for his car keys, left at his nightstand when Sansa told him to be “ nice to Shireen´s new guy.”

“Wait a second. Shireen has a new boyfriend and she is bringing him home?”

The last one Shireen had taken home was Podrick Payne, but they had broken up when she moved south and he decided to return to the Westerlands.

“Yes, Stan. It is serious, but she did not want to say much about him. Well, just be nice, okay? You can be...intimidating.”

Stannis made no reply, just kissed Sansaand left _._

_I make no promises; if he behaves, I behave._

Stannis had to wait an additional hour because the flight had been delayed due to snow storms. He was about to buy a protein bar in the vending machine, when he saw Shireen at the Gate.

“Hi Dad! How are you?” They hugged and Stannis went to grab his eldest daughter luggage when her cousin, Edric, suddenly appeared.

“Oh, Edric, what a coincidence. I assume you came to spend Sevenmas with your brother this year? Come, I can give you a ride. “

Edric had no time to reply because Shireen did:

“ Yes, uncle Renly went to thee Summer Islands this time. Loras had some sort of breakdown when he went to visit his grandmother in the Riverlands and Renly decided a week in a resort would make him feel better.”

Nobody could accuse Stannis Baratheon of being a great conversationalist and the trip back home was spent with Shireen and Edric mostly commenting on the music from the local radio station.

“Oh, I love this song. It is so cheesy.” Shireen then turned the volume up and they started to sing along:

 

> Last Sevenmas
> 
> I gave you my heart
> 
> But the very next day
> 
> You gave it away
> 
> This year
> 
> To save me from tears
> 
> I will give it to someone special
> 
> Special

Stannis absolutely hated Tom o Seven and every single year the man would reach “ nr 1 “ during the Sevenmas season with this awful song, Last Sevenmas.

But he endured, because Shireen and her cousin were having a great time. When they got stuck in the traffic for some minutes, Stannis sent Sansa a message.

 

 **Stannis** : Hi. No boyfriend in sight. Should I ask?

 **Sansa** : Jeez...I think not? Let Shireen arrive first, have a shower, eat something…

 **Stannis:** Edric came along. Renly went to the Summer Islands. Do we have an extra gift for him? Tell Gendry I am driving his brother and will drop Edric by his house.

 **Sansa** : Yes, I bought something for Shireen´s boyfriend. I will just write the card and we are good.

 

***

Stannis arrived home with Shireen and the house was already smelling of ginger cookies and warm wine.

“Shireen, you look so good! I love what you have done with your hair!” Sansa said as she hugged her step daughter.

Lyonnel, Lyanna and Cassana came to welcome the big sister, who hugged them tight:

“Guys, I missed you so!” Shireen said, as she squeezed the three of them at te same time.

“Where is the boyfriend?” Lyanna asked. “ I heard mom saying you had a new one.”

Stannis was thanking the Gods he did not believe in for children´s curiosity. _Yes, where is the boyfriend, Shireen?_

“He is coming later, no worries. Now I have to shower and change my clothes…” Stannis took Shireen to the guest room and went right back to the garage.

“Where are you going, Stan?”

“You heard Shireen....her boyfriend is still coming. “ Stannis could not believe what he was about to say. “ I must be nice to him, you said. The Mall only closes in an hour, I must go and buy Shireen´s boyfriend a gift.”

The place was packed. Some stores had even closed already. Stannis just went to the nearest bookstore, bought a copy of “Storm King” a bestseller novel about Argilac The Arrogant, who just happened to be a pretty scary guy and Stannis direct ancestor. He took off the 9,99 price tag and handed it to the cashier, who delivered the book already in a nice enough package.

When Stannis arrived home, it was time to change into the  Sevenmas pullover Sansa had made for him when they first married, and play host.

 

***

Sansa had finished roasting the seven pigeons before five o clock. She actually disliked the taste and added as much stuffing and dried fruits to the recipe as possible, but the kids loved it.

Meera, Benjen and little Howland Stark, still a baby, were among the first to arrive.

Meera would always greet them with two kisses on the check, in the style of the crannogmen, and felt that Stannis skin was not as smooth as used to be :“ Stannis, are those stubbles in your face? “

“Yes, I decided to grow a beard now. Sansa says it is all the rage.”

Benjen confirmed it was the case :“Indeed it is, Stannis. A third of my male students have beards now. “

Arya, Gendry, Rickon, little Ned and Edric came in less than half an hour later.

Sansa served spiced wine to the adults and warm honeyed milk to the children. The cookies were in a big bowl at the table and there were also some carrot and bread sticks with dips for people to eat and make conversation while dinner was being finished.

When Sansa went to check on her acorn pie, Shireen came with her: “ There is something you need to know...I have no idea how I will tell father but…”

“...you are dating Edric, right? He has no idea, but I saw how the two of you are eyeing each other. “

Shireen took a deep breath: “ Actually, we got married in a Casino at Lys and... “

Sansa went as pale as a ghost, looking to the door behind Shireen.

Stannis had just heard his daughter confessed she had eloped with her cousin.

 

***

“What kind of example are you giving to your siblings, Shireen?" Stannis then turned to her cousin-husband:" Edric...I thought you had some sense in you. But I see Renly was indeed as overindulgent as I expected him to be…”

Stannis had dragged Shireen and Edric to the wellness area of the house, which used to the basement, as soon as he overhead her confession .

Shireen was calm, calmer than Stannis expected her to be , and started to explain how this marriage came to be :

“We were at Lys, filming with uncle Renly. To be honest, we were going out behind everybody´s back ever since I went south. But...well...they needed a couple to marry, so that they could film it. We volunteered. It was three months ago and we actually moved in together about the same time. “

“So, Edric.” Stannis said sternly. “ What do you have to say?”

Edric looked a copy of Robert at this age, which made this whole situation even more surreal. But the young man suprised Stannis by being very sure of his relationship  with Shireen :“I love her and we have decided to stay married. We are young yes, but...we have so much in common and ...”

“the same gene pool for instance…” Stannis murmured.

Shireen rolled her eyes: “Father! We have not discussed children yet, but marriage between first cousins is not considered to be incest in most of the Seven Kingdoms and there is  close to no increase in the chances of deformities or miscarriages, I let you know .”

“Fine, Fine...you are married. Congratulations are in order, I suppose. We should go upstairs, we have a Sevemas to celebrate. “

Arya had already grabbed some rice form Sansa´s kitchen, distributed around the family members and insisted they shared a toast.

When Shireen and Edric came from downstairs, the family started throwing rice on them.

“ Here comes the bride!” Arya shouted while Gendry opened the bottle of the finest Arbor Sparkling wine “Aunt” Margaery Tully had sent them.

 ***

After the meal was served, it was time for the gift exchange event.

Arya was beyond herself with excitement: “ Sansa, you will love what I got you!”

Sansa opened the small package with dread.

She could not believe her eyes.

It was worst than the farting device!

“You gave me a toilet timer so I don´t spend too much time in the bathroom?!”

“Yes! It does well with the farting device, right?”

Arya at least had noticed that Sansa face was not happy this time around: “ I am sorry, Sansa, you clearly did not like it! “

Sansa could not hide it any longer: “ Well...look, I really do not enjoy the joke gifts, that is all. I am sorry I never told you before”

“The problem is, what the hell am I going to buy you with this ridiculous 10 dragons gift limit per person? I mean, the only thing in this price range that I know you would use it is soap. I cannot possibly give you soap, Sansa! It is so...trivial. You would not believe it, but joke gifting is very time consuming…”

Sansa never wanted soap so badly in her life:

“Please, Arya. Give me soap. I take soap. I _love_ soap.”

 ***

**EPILOGUE**

 

In the three years that followed, Sansa received the amazing gifts : first, Arya came up with a miniature of heart shapedsoaps; the second year around it was lemon scented bath oils in a soap box and, Sansa´s favorite gift of all time, a Soap sculpture in her likeness las year.

In the fourth year, Arya complained bitterly :“ I have no idea who convinced us about setting this insanely small budget per item. Every year, depending on how well I behave, Stannis gives me a voucher where he deducts scents from my 10 dragon limit. Gendry, I have to really behave a whole year if I want to receive  a 10 dragons voucher for Sevenmas! This is ridiculous”

The next family barbecue was held at their place, so Gendry brought the subject of the Sevenmas Gift Exchange over when everybody had already relaxed, enjoying his famous smoked ribs while sipping home made iced tea.

As it turned out, Stannis was also not satisfied with the idea and supported Arya for once in his life. " We just traded the bad for something worse; it is indeed time for a change!"

Sansa could not believe her eyes and ears, as Stannis went on and on about the " avalanche of superfulous and cheap gifts ": “Funny, you were the one who convinced us that we were a bunch of consummist pricks, Stan, and suggested this limit per item! “

Everybody looked at Stannis with accusing eyes; they had suffered years of terrible gifts because of him!

Stannis felt himself exposed by his own wife, who should be always supportive of him.

“So, Stannis, what do you have to say for yourself ?” Edric Storm asked.

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> If you are interestd in the "farting device"
> 
> https://www.amazon.com/T-J-Wisemen-Remote-Control-Machine/dp/B0002KQ7JQ?th=1
> 
> or the " toilet timer"
> 
> http://odditymall.com/includes/content/toilet-timer-a-sand-timer-you-place-in-the-bathroom-to-prevent-long-pooping-sessions-0.jpg


End file.
